End of an era

On New Year’s Eve my car was hit as it sat quietly and innocently out the front of my friend’s house. The damage was so comprehensive that yesterday it was officially written off, and today my dear friend Jacqui headed to the car yard with me so we could remove all my stuff before it gets pulled to pieces and demolished. 

Saying goodbye to the old Honda made me feel kind of sad. I’ve been driving that car for 16 years – X and I bought it when I was heavily pregnant with our eldest son (ES). It’s the car we transported that gorgeous, blonde-haired boy home in from the hospital. 

For endless months the car was the only place where our baby would go to sleep. On many evenings, X and I would grab some takeout, drive around until ES closed those big blue eyes, then park somewhere overlooking the city lights – eating, chatting and gradually adjusting to parenthood.

The Honda took us up north and way out west several times, and it’s also the vehicle we bought our second baby boy home in… Not so long before our relationship went pear-shaped. 

Image: www.unassumingrebel.com

I shed many a tear in that car as my life fell to pieces, and I got to keep it as part of our property settlement. In the years since, it has safely transported me and the boys to and from our current hometown countless times so they can spend weekends with X. 

The three of us have travelled far and wide, enjoyed the company of lots of friends and moved massive pieces of furniture in that car. And – with the exception of a couple of flat batteries – it’s never let us down. It has even played a role in my new beloved’s life, taking him to and from the airport as we conduct our long-distance relationship and explore my corner of the world together. 

It’s silly, I know, but I'm going to miss my trusty silver steed. It’s clocked up almost 250,000 kilometres (reflected in my tragic insurance payout), and really has been there through thick and thin.

So, now I’m seeking a worthy replacement. Something as reliable would be fabulous. Something capable of holding as many memories would be just perfect.

In with the new

Each New Year's Eve I do a small Kabbalah ritual passed on by my counsellor. Best done with a friend or loved one, or even in a group, it involves writing down all the things from the past year that you well and truly want to farewell on one piece of paper, then writing all the things you want to welcome into your life in the New Year on another piece of paper. 

Be clear and focused, and take your time... You want every word to count. 

Now, set fire to the 'Farewell' page and say the following prayer:

May Micha-el be on my right [water];

And on my left Garriel [fire];

Uri-el before me [air];

Behind me Rafa-el [earth].

And over my head, surrounding me, Shekhinate-el.

Keep the 'Welcome' page somewhere safe so you can refer to it during the year. It's always interesting to read over this page at the end of the year and to see what has come to pass.

Have a happy start to 2015 and may your wildest dreams come true. x

A funny thing happened...

On Friday I drove in to the city, did the handover at X’s place and headed a couple of suburbs away to have dinner with some of the team members from FLOW International (the Australian-based aid agency that delivers education and clean water into remote areas of Pakistan, which I'm a part of).

For no particular reason I was sitting at the head of the table, facing the street. At one point I looked out of the window and, at that exact moment, Y – the Other Woman in my life – walked past.

If you haven’t read the majority of my blog posts, you may not know that Y is the woman my ex-husband left me for, going on nine years ago. You may also have missed the fact that Y and I have had NO CONTACT in that time, aside from a couple of emails (the last one dating back to 2009).

Even though I have been dropping my boys to X every second Friday for all these years, I haven’t sighted her – NEVER. NOT EVEN ONCE. And there she was, casually strolling by.

I watched her wander out of view, commented to RC (my great friend and confidant) that I’d just seen Y for the first time since 2006, laughed at how unspectacular it was and immediately returned to discussing the important stuff – where FLOW should consider installing the next water-filtration plant and how long it would take for the food to arrive at our table.

The only remarkable thing about the scenario was that I felt ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. NADA. ZIP.

It was no coincidence. I've been saying to X for the past few months how ridiculous it is that Y has continued to avoid me for so long, and that it will have to change at some point in the near future. The great and mystical Universe clearly agrees.

It’s very obviously time for us all to take a giant leap forward.

So, let's do this. 

Image via www.quotesfrenzy.com