In 2009 my sweet friend DS was curating an art exhibition in Sydney around the theme of identity, and he asked me to contribute. Not being an artist, I politely declined. He was insistent, however, and called me one day to say my name was included on the invite and I therefore HAD to produce something.
I decided to take up the challenge and create a
written piece, which I would then embroider (something I can actually do). The
above image is the result. It provides an overview of the breakdown of my
marriage and what it took to get me through my grief. It was extremely personal
and served to make me question the things that ‘identified’ me at that point. I
entitled it: ‘I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU’.
Working on the actual embroidery was labour-intensive
and, consequently, cathartic – it made me stop and take stock, and every now
and then I would break down and cry as I was sewing furiously to meet my
deadline. Somehow DS knew I needed to do this (he’s a little spooky like that).
I thought it would be fitting for my discarded
wedding ring to sit at the centre of the piece. It sits there still, and the
embroidery is folded neatly and tucked away in a cupboard, along with the box
of love letters and a few trinkets and gifts that seemed to lose all meaning
once X had broken his vows.
On the evening of the exhibition opening, I was
touched to see my words evoke a few tears from friends and people I didn’t
know. I did send a photo of the embroidery to X, but all he had to say was that
he hoped this would be “the last muddy public outing” of our personal lives.
And here
we are… It’s been over eight years since X walked out the
door and five years since the muddy public outing. Adhering to the ‘one day at
a time’ approach to recovery, I have survived and forged a new life, and I’m
happy to say that Thoreau’s theory has held fast.
So, on the occasion of my very first blog post, I
want to say THANK YOU to all the amazing people in my life that have helped me
to get here. Let this new journey begin.
